ohhhh, now im just writing for the sake of writing. this is the most drawn out existence known to man. i know in a year im leaving. ive said it over and over and over, but ive finally had it. its not the horrible government, thats always been that way, its just a better ratings game now. i mean really, do you think that its a new thing that the american government is such shit. the new thing is that they can actually make you think its different from democrat to rebublican...then, get you to watch the decisions that shape existence on earth as though it were the Ultimate Survivor. no...its not that, its not even that i live around people who would swallow the situation i described. its none of that. its traffic, its a life based on eating up everything i can get my hands on....cd's, art, cars, goods goods goods....bad bad bad. im going to re-evaluate the way my life is lead, and the last few best years of my sons life. nice old motorcycle to get me to work, maybe one for my son. beaches, easy job....no money, fucking shit. who cares. it doesnt matter. theres a talk that the world has, and you and i have become so fucking deaf to it, that its bound to break through and rip our hearts apart through our ears. its ripped apart my ears and i hear it, but im not going to let it rip apart my heart. i dont think i can go on any longer not paying attention to how a man is supposed to live. im not really sure how a man is supposed to live anymore, but what i am sure of .....is that im not doing it right now. i am now preparing for the new jonny order.