the lion the dork and charlie go to madagascar with mr and mrs wedding crasher

what in the fuck did i watch last weekend? im not being sarcastic, there is no way of knowing what M. Night Shyamalan had swimming through his mess of a mind. or is there? i listened to an interview of his where he said he had creative control, so if this is true, then why do i feel like ive actually lost a piece of my life to this movie. usually i feel as though im ripped off at the movies, but this goes above and beyond ripped off.....raped seems a bit more fitting. i dont feel as though Shyamalan actually had creative control, i think that when you have as much money wrapped up in the production of a movie, as they due in 2006, the advertising, pitching, pr machine becomes all encompassing and casts a giant shadow over the quality of a movie.so M needs to sell the fact that he has control in order to draw in his fanbase. ive wrote on and off all my life and i realize that there are times when you write like shit, i just dont believe that someone who has put out movies like the sixth sense and unbreakable could actually release something like i witnessed last sunday.

so if Shyamalan is worth a shit, then how did this movie make it to my poor eyes and then in turn ,to my brain, where it fucked it up for two hours. numbers....tons of numbers.....7,030,000,000....563.....1,400,000,000......8.7....37,000,000. in an industry that collected 9 billion dollars of our money domestically and 23.2 billion wolrd wide, you had better make sure that you put the best possible spin on your movie that you can...at all expenses. so if you have a bankable commodity like Shyamalan, then its best to let the world believe that he had full creative control in leiu of warner brothers tearing the shit out of his film based on information from focus groups and pulse monitors. because something had to have happened to this film along the way. i do realize that Shyamalans movies have jumped up and down a tick or two in quality over the years, but this is out of control. i dont know what happened in this film.... eagles, narfs, stuttering, guilds and sisters. i actually dont care about the film, what i do care about, or at least think about, is the industry that pumps out this trash.

since i have no idea what its like to talk about, see, critique movie viewing habits in any other nation than this one...well, new zealand, i watched x men 2 there, but at least i could drink while i was ripped off there, ill focus on domestic numbers. in 2005 almost 9 billion dollars was shelled out by americans to go to the movies. i think i spent about 60 dollars and not once did i see a movie that was worth a shit. the MPAA and its "members" put out a total of 190 of the 0f the 535 movies released in 2005. these 190 movies produced 7,030,000,000 dollars of box office business. the other 345 films could not even reach 2 billion dollars in sales. buena vista pictures, paramount, sony, 20th century, universal and warner brothers produced theses 190 films under their main corporations and their subsidiaries such as touchstone, focus, and so forth. when these powerhouse corporations decide to take on a project, they are well aware of the risk involved, but are as well aware of the numbers behind the facade of teh art. they know how many scene kids are going to wes andersens films, they know how many men are going to go see mrs jolie dance around some sub saharan country with brad pitt, they know how many losers are going to go see daredevil.....and with that we can go to the fact that the studios dont always know. so what to do in order to try and pull as much money in as possible for each and every film? PR, staged drama for the stars of movies, fake babies and celebrity battles, crazy rumors, sex tapes, you name it. how about this one..."i had full creative control" thats bull shit in regards to the lady in the water. i found it absolutley amazing that an eagle needed to come get a girl and take her home when she lived in the....water.
so at what point is art sacraficed in order to produce revenue? when we, the consumers allow it. films have become more about whos seeing them and what it means if you like a certain type of movie in a way that is unprecedented void the roman empire where they sucked balls of dead babies like after dinner mints and looked down their noses at you if yours came from the wrong side of the tracks...rock road..whatever. "i dont go to those mainstream movies"....."oh ..youre an art fag, that shits boring"...."give me some fucking explosions" ive seen some really bad shit based on the cover and who saw it and said it was "all the rave" ive also been very surprised and very happy leaving some of the mainstream blockbuster films. i cant remember which ones but i remember that it happened.....kill bill vol.1 was a great piece of blockbuster art. but after watching the lady in the water, i was convinced that with advertising, spin, pr, and whatever other ways the studios use, all they want to do is get you into the theatre in the first two weeks, before the word gets out that the movie is horrible.

i actually believed that sharlamaine had complete control of this film, i even said to myself "thats fucking cool, i want to see that" i now actually think i was spun, or shyalaman had two good films in him and he sucks. whatever the answer is, the heads of the mpaa will not let a decent film be made due to the fact that he attention span of the average american is twelve seconds. any film that actually takes time and thought and patience is dead in the water these day. "we need more fucking bombs, and maybe a few extra tits right there...yeah!!!! fuck yeah"! but here and there the studios release a film like the lady in the water, and they know i will go, they know that my demographic, with the right trailer, and the mention of the film here and there will get me to go, and it worked. these are my hours, and i want them back.....i want em all back.